


fashun!

by A_Likely_Story



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack, Fashionista, Fluff, Forgive Me, Found Family, M/M, Nicky gets a makeover, Nile regrets everything, booker is still part of the team, terrible title
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:28:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25729717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Likely_Story/pseuds/A_Likely_Story
Summary: “You are not buying anything for yourself.”“No.” Nile agrees.“You are giving me a makeover.”“Yes.” Nile agrees, and Nicky looks mildly offended.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 30
Kudos: 539





	fashun!

They have some downtime between missions, and Nile takes the opportunity to update Nicky's wardrobe. Not to say that Nicky has bad taste or anything, just that... okay yeah, Nicky has bad taste.  
Nile wanted to blame the fact that Nicky was old as balls as the reason his fashion sense was very much suburban dad, but none of the other guards seem to have the same problem. Case in point: Andy dressed like a sexy assassin, Joe looked divine in a leather jacket, and Booker had the depressed librarian look nailed.  
Really Nile was doing this for all of them. Nicky was letting the side down.  
It wasn’t all that hard to coax Nicky to come out shopping with her. He had his head buried in a book, his brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate over the sounds of Joe and Booker shouting at the TV. His hair had grown longer and everyone was refusing to cut it, at the behest of Nile, who hadn’t yet told them why.  
When Nile casually suggested “a wander round the mall” Nicky had looked from his book to the TV and wrinkled his nose.  
“Si, grazie.”  
Nile had beamed at him, grabbing a tote bag for all the anticipated goods she was going to force upon him, and swiped the credit card from the basket of assorted crap.  
Nicky had followed her actions and frowned a little, but followed her outside nonetheless.  
It was terrible weather, raining almost torrentially but Nile had on a ridiculously bright pink coat that made her almost fervently happy, and Nicky's hood was pulled up tightly over his head, so they didn’t mind too much.  
The mall was only a fifteen minutes walk away, and they arrived drenched. A security guard clocked them immediately and walked over. Nile saw Nicky stiffen and she prayed to God he hadn’t brought any lethal weapons with him.  
“It’s ok,” she said, taking note of the water that was creating a small puddle around him. “I think it's just because we’re causing a health and safety problem.”  
Nicky hummed at this, but he relaxed his stance as the man approached.  
“Raining, huh?” he drawled, and then laughed as if he had heard the funniest thing that had ever been said. Nile laughed along with him. Nicky just watched, stone faced.  
“A little, yes.” Nicky agreed.  
“If you don’t mind, I'll just take your coats from you to save you from traipsing water everywhere. I'll pop ‘em in the heated closet and they’ll be dry as a bone by the time you come out! “  
Nicky looked to Nile to confirm if this was appropriate shopping mall personnel behaviour. Nile was secretly rubbing her hand together in glee. The idea of buying a new jacket would be far too easy now, and from there she could surely convince him to try out a completely different style of clothes. Surely.  
“Sure thing,” Nile said brightly, handing over her coat, that was now 10lbs heavier than it had been, and leaking. Nicky shrugged his hoodie off and gave it to the man, looking almost forlorn at the separation.  
“You come find me when you’re finished. I'll be right over there. “ Bert pointed to an array of vending machines that he habitually staked out.  
Nile and Nicky nodded, then entered the inner doors to the mall.  
It was extraordinarily loud, even to Nile. She wasn’t sure if it was that she was just so used to living with the guards that she had grown accustomed to their quiet form of loudness, or if being immortal had somehow heightened her senses.  
She glanced at Nicky, who was looking around without actually looking like he was looking around. Stealth at its finest.  
“In here,” Nile grabs Nicky's arm and propels him into a menswear shop. They leave ten minutes later, bag in hand.  
Nicky catches on to Nile’s devious plan pretty quickly.  
“You are not buying anything for yourself.”  
“No.” Nile agrees.  
“You are giving me a makeover.”  
“Yes.” Nile agrees, and Nicky looks mildly offended.  
“Obviously you look fine as you are,” Nile says hurriedly.  
“Fine,” Nicky repeats, picking out the insult in the word.  
“It's just you could look so much better!” Nile winces at her own wording choice. “We don’t have to, of course. But change is good every once in while. Apparently."  
Nicky thinks about it. “Fine,” he says, with a smile. 

.... 

“hmmm... “ Nile studies Nicky, thinking aloud. “Something’s missing.”  
Nicky huffs a resigned kind of sigh.  
Nile gives him a considering look. “You guys can get piercings, right?”  
Nicky just looks at her. Nile continues her thought process. “I mean, Andy has a ton, so it stands to reason you can, as long as you keep the jewellery in?”  
Nicky runs his fingers through his hair. “I did have my ears pierced, a while back.” He admits. “But I kept taking the earring out when I was half asleep and it kept healing.” He shrugs.  
But Nile has the idea in her head now, and a vision of Nicky with one hooped earring in one ear and a stud in the other. He's going to look amazing.  
...  
“Prone to fainting at all? “ the multi talented tattooist/ piercer, Drew (a very appropriate name, Nile feels) asks.  
Nicky rolls his eyes. “No.” He says but Nile thinks she sees something in his face, a memory that triggered a reaction to piercings and fainting.  
“It's nothing to be ashamed of, “ the tattooist says kindly, which makes Nicky more firm in his opinion to proneness of fainting.  
Drew shrugs and smiles, then brandishes the needle to pierce Nicky's ear.  
..  
Nicky faints. After both ears are pierced, which is something, but still. Nile feels terrible. And mildly confused. Nicky has been stabbed multiple multiple times by varying amounts of knives (and in one instance a spoon) and yet somehow his body reacts to getting earrings inserted by losing consciousness.  
Drew catches Nicky as he slumps, and gives Nile a reassuring smile. “Happens all the time, “ he says. Nicky comes round with a start, and gazes at Nile, looking so betrayed that she has to laugh.  
“You fainted, Nicky, “ she explains, “And I'm honestly not laughing at that, I just-“  
Fortunately Nicky sees the funny side and quirks a smile as well. “It had better be worth it. “  
“Joe will love it,” Nile reassures him. They thank Drew, then collect their coats from the coat collector, who gives a little double take at the sight of Nicky. “You have been busy,” he says with a wink at Nile, making her feel validated in all her life decisions that have led her to this point in time.  
“Thank you, Bert,” Nile sings, and they step outside, where it is now later but a lot sunnier, and if that isn’t pathetic fallacy, Nile doesn’t know what is.  
...... 

There is a long silence.  
“Well, damn, Nicky, “ Andy says approvingly, standing up and circling him. Booker takes a long draw of whiskey.  
“You look like-“ he begins, a mischievous look in his eye.  
“Careful, “ Nile warns, because if all her hard work is ruined because of Booker, she will be pissed.  
“- a very beautiful pirate.” Booker finishes, with a smirk. Nile lets out a triumphant yell. Nicky does look like a beautiful pirate. Were they ever actually pirates, Nile wonders, mentally storing the question below the hundreds of questions she has to ask them. At some other time though, when Joe is not looking at Nicky like he wants to do sinfully delightful things to him. Nile tries to turn her brain off. Nicky flushes a little, but his eyes are still on Joe, who hasn’t said a word, too busy drinking in the sight of Nicky, his Nicky.  
“You don’t like it,” Nicky says, his voice hoarse with the beginning of hurt. Joe rises, and the others take that as their cue to leave the room.  
Joe stands with his face pressed next to Nicky.  
“It is... You are a very very naughty man.”  
A laugh escapes Nicky, but he keeps his eyes on Joe's.  
“Do you have any idea, “ Joe rakes his eyes down Nicky's superbly thought out outfit. “how difficult it is for me controlling myself when you look like this?”  
He cups Nicky's chin in his hand, and looks at him with want and lust and Nicky's jaw does that thing that drives Joe wild.  
“Nicoló,”  
“Yusuf.”

Then Joe furrows his brow. "But the last time you got a piercing.. You fainted, did you not? Did you faint this time? " He strokes Nicky's earlobes, a concerned expression clouding his face. Nicky leans in to the touch.  
"Yes," Nicky admits. A flicker of something passes across Joe's face.  
"It was worth it, " Nicky tells him, and then they are kissing and tugging off clothes, sliding into their bedroom as an afterthought.

...  
In the other room, listening to the dull thud of furniture being knocked over, a thought enters Nile’s mind. “Shit, they're never going to stop having sex now, are they?”  
Andy and Booker exchange an amused glance.  
“Yeah I think we’re best going to a hotel or something for the next few days,” Booker says seriously.  
Nile looks at him, and then at Andy. "What? Really?" Andy barks out a laugh and reaches over to ruffle her hair. "Hey, kid, this is on you." Andy points out, laughter curling around her words. Nile buries her head in her hands. "So, basically the reason none of you are ever at peak hotness level is because nothing apart from sex would ever get done, ever?" Andy and Booker share identical shit eating grins. "Exactly." Andy says. "You got it, " Booker agrees. Nile sinks back onto the chair with a sigh. She is never going to use her powers of fashion on anyone ever again. It is too much of a dangerous thing. /p>

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies to anyone who read this before I proof read it for the 10th time hahaha
> 
> Edit:: having reread this AGAIN I have come to the conclusion that my proof reading is terrible!!! 
> 
> I apologise profusely Nike?? :( (Nile Freeman I love you!! my phone just... Does not??)


End file.
